Going somewhere nice for Christmas? Well, bully for you!

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We made the decision not to head back to the UK for Christmas and will instead be experiencing our first Genevan Christmas.

I have come to understand that Geneva will be a quiet place for Christmas. Being a city that is comprised of approximately 40% expats it is natural that a lot of these non-Swiss will return back to their respective homelands for a Christmas with friends and family. Other residents will be running to the hills, as heading for the snow-capped mountains is a popular holiday tradition. This means there wont be many people actually left in Geneva.

Screen Shot 2014-12-11 at 2.24.47 PMI’m actually quite happy with the idea of a quiet Christmas this year. Yes, Christmases filled with friends and family are lovely and magical times but they can also be quite tiring.

As so much of Christmas is a time for thinking about loved ones there is a great deal of pressure to find time to catch up with everyone you care about in this condensed holiday period. Whilst this is wonderful it also entails lots of travelling around, events and activities and very little rest time. Factor in the reality that if you are taking a decent amount of time off over the holidays (and I’ve always been lucky enough to do so) this means there is always a lot of work to be done before the end of the year.

So you are usually tired approaching the holiday season and by the end of it might be more exhausted starting the new year than you were ending the old one. Having had a quite eventful year (moving country, starting a new job, enjoyable but demanding trips to the UK and a wedding abroad) I’m quite looking forward to a quiet Christmas this year with my bearded man and cats.

However, when chatting with various people about their plans for the upcoming holidays a lot of people have expressed surprise at my staying in Geneva for the entire duration of the holidays. A surprise that suggests that this is a mistake and it will absolutely be the worst Christmas I will ever have. Or if they don’t say as much they might pull a face that looks like this:

Shocked face - bp image

At the book club Christmas party last night I was speaking with a friend who said he was staying in Geneva but added the explanation, because clearly he felt he needed one, that he would be going skiing in the mountains. To express my frustration at having to yet again explain and defend my holiday plans I uttered four little words: ‘well, bully for you’ and then started laughing. Aware this was a pretty rude response I tried to explain it was a private joke between me and …er…me, or to be more accurate between me and the memory of my Granny.

Several years, actually decades, ago, when I must have been somewhere around six or seven, I attended a family party for my uncle’s 40th birthday. My Granny and Grandad had divorced long before I was born and generally did their best to avoid each other, however this was one of those rare occasions when both happened to be in the same place at the same time with the same people.

My Granddad, no doubt in the spirit of family goodwill, came to where me and mum where chatting with Granny and started a conversation. He started to tell us about a recent holiday he had been on and my Granny just looked up at him from her wheelchair, said ‘Well, bully for you’ tartly and promptly wheeled away.

I’m not really sure exactly what it was about the scenario that I found and continue to find quite so funny. I think there was a lot of genuine ill-feeling as my Granny delivered her damning one-liner to my Grandad and moved away. But over the years both mum and I have come to adopt the phrase and liberally use it to express mock indignation at anyone we perceive to be potentially bragging about any experiences, circumstances, etc. And every time I say that phrase I remember my Granny and it makes me laugh.

Last night after making a pathetic attempt to explain why I just insulted my friend’s holiday plans and then started laughing about it the memory stayed with me and continued to amuse me. Walking home later that evening, I recalled the conversation and the phrase I’d used and started laughing to myself all over again. I’m grinning away to myself as I type this right now.

Just saying those words or thinking about them brings a smile to my face or laughter to my lips. And, even though when my Granny uttered them she didn’t mean them to be quite so amusing, it also fills me with a very happy feeling about Gran that I can’t fully explain. Perhaps it is just that in repeating those words I can recall her so vividly in all her wonderful, flawed and complete humanity that it makes me feel close to her. There are lots of great memories I have of my Granny, particularly playing a lot of Mahjong or Rummikub, but that particular ‘well, bully for you’ memory surfaces most frequently when that phrase she bequeathed me slips off my tongue so easily.

I wonder if others have such equally bizarre triggers for remembering someone who is no longer a part of our lives for whatever reason? So if I ever seem to guffaw at your new watch, holiday plans or whatever with those particular words don’t take it personally but know that I’m remembering someone I loved in my own unique way.

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11 thoughts on “Going somewhere nice for Christmas? Well, bully for you!

  1. the-best-m-intheworld

    Family in-jokes can make others scratch their heads in puzzlement but you are right, they do trigger fond memories of often quite difficult people, which is a nice way to remember them. Though I hope your colleague didn’t feel slighted when you dissed his holiday plans!

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    • I hope the fact that I burst out laughing as soon as I made the sarky comment was enough to show him i didn’t mean it as not sure he got it when I tried to explain. I’ll send him a link to the blog if there’s any residual hard feelings.

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  2. What a lovely story. I hope your friend wasn’t offended once you’d explained!

    We stayed in our flat for Christmas once. It was lovely – we went for a walk in town on Christmas Eve, then came home for hot chocolate and skyped with the boyfriend’s parents in the evening and then on Christmas day we went out for a lovely meal. It was great not to be rushing around trying to fit people in.

    This year we’re visiting my boyfriend’s parents. He wants to leave on the 20th and we’ll presumably stay til pretty much new year, so that’s almost a week of sleeping on the sofa bed in his mum’s living room (with maybe a couple of days at his dad’s place… if he’s there and not at his girlfriend’s). To be quite honest I would rather have stayed home!

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    • Hopefully he’ll forgive me, I’ll have to send him this post by way of explanation.

      That sounds nice. I think if we make an effort to keep it special and Christmassy it wont feel too weird and will still retain some Christmas magic (I was thinking ice-skating and mulled wine on Christmas Eve and the usual feasting and a walk on Christmas Day).

      I don’t envy you the sofa-bed in the living room, I think I’d find the lack of a private space to retreat to a bit of a challenge (I can be wonderfully anti-social at times). But I hope the extended stay with your boyfriend’s family will be nice and if you are there for a while hopefully it wont involve too much rushing around and you can still have time to relax.

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  3. I stayed abroad last year and planning to stay away from home this year. Last year was ok, I missed all the noise and people a little bit but work kept me busy. This year we will spend the holidays with some other expats and I think it’s going to be fun. Enjoy your home alone Christmas!

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  4. lol, i love this! And I completely get it. My grandmother suffered from Alzheimers and in her last months lost the ability to verbalize any words other than one specific phrase, “shut up”. and so that was all she ever said to us from then on until the day she passed. I treasure that we were able to see the humor in this and that it is a memory that makes me smile and laugh.

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